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The issues you describe would benefit from professional psychotherapy; much less likely to find real relief from the self-help/talk to friends approach (not that those are in any way bad, but not sufficient). Pills might help, but they will be like a pain-killer - they suppress the discomfort, but allow the underlying issue to fester (SSRI or SNRI, I'd avoid benzos and sedatives altogether). Use whatever benefits you have, or the local nonprofit network, to find somebody who you can work with on this. These are very common issues, so should not be hard to find somebody who can provide good solution-focussed approaches (something like short-term CBT or ACT, not 10 years of Woody-Allen style couch-talk about how you were toilet trained). You owe it to yourself to get the pro assist - wouldn't you do that for a gnarly car repair?
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