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I started a similar thread a few years ago, but less in regards to babies and more into just being run of fmy feet by the kids.
Mine are 8 and 4, and to be frank, I am absolutely wrecked. I love my boys to death, would take a bullet for them without thinking, but I am just dead tired. TBH I did not enjoy the baby phase, it is utterly grueling and the lack of sleep and exercise led to weight gain and the weight gain led to a CPAP and more poor sleep. I have had one good night's sleep since my first was born, by good I mean put my head down, asleep within half an hr and awake 8 hrs later.
I've managed that once, without a lie.
We both work so needed a nanny share arrangement to help look after them and with COVID19 we are both home so no nanny. They are, again, to be frank, driving me absolutely mental.
The small one is a sweet boy, but whiny and I guess relies on me for entertainment. The big one is a much greater concern, he is either antagonising the smaller one or lying, or sneaking treats or fighting us n every aspect of life.
Then there's the parenting and being on the same page as your spouse. My wife is your stereotypical white upper middle class woman, too busy spoiling and being the kid's best friend to notice he is spiraling out of control. We argue bitterly over the eldest, for 5 years now I have correctly predicted his behaviors deteriorating and I continue to forecast trouble whilst she continues to publicly defend him and leave discipline to me.
As babies, it's just a fog, an absolute fog. The relentless sleepless nights, the wife crumbling under the enormous pressure, the conflict as we are both wired. I frankly don't miss it.
I am tired, I am rattled, i am desperate for some alone time. Would i do it again? Yeah probably would, i think the small one will be ok and I am hoping to repair the widening gap between myself and the big one, but it is really hard work, really hard work.
Advice? Here's an unpopular one. Once you go back to work in an office, sleep in the basement and leave the nights to the wife. Hear me out. When you come home you are therefore relatively fresh and can grab the baby, help with dinner and send the wife off to relax totally. Divide and conquer. Women will freak out at the suggestion but truth be told you're near useless at night anyways (once she has healed up) and the alternative is you come home ABSOLUTELY SHATTERED and now you're both fucking miserable like we were.
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