Thread: Confess here
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      10-08-2020, 01:59 PM   #4367
cmyx6go
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
Ahh, now I feel sort of bad for my comment in the LOL thread...might just be the Canadian part getting the best of me.

You know its ok to grieve right - you aren't down on yourself for the sudden changes in your mood are you? I don't know what to say really though, for me I find I rely a whole lot more on God and find myself closer to Him when I'm down / going through rough times...but you have to have that saving relationship with Him first for what I just said to mean anything really. And I don't know where you are at there.

So hang in there, and let yourself grieve freely.
I know it's OK to grieve. But it comes out of nowhere. And it's really tough when I'm driving and it hits. It's hard to see through the tears. I guess at first it wasn't quite real. Now as time passes the reality is setting in.

Combine that with the emotional nonsense of packing up what I thought was my forever house and getting close to leaving. I get so mad. I work myself into a tizzy. Put the two griefs together and I'm a hot mess. My heart hurts...It hurts physically. Sometimes I think I can't breathe.

The God thing is another subject. Dad was a very religious man, but very private about his faith. He went to church every single day. I went to Catholic school, went to church every Sunday but never really got it. Do I believe? I guess so, but not the way dad did. Somehow I find it hypocritical to pray after all these years. I have the crucifix hanging over a doorway when you enter my house. I look up at it, but can't bring myself to pray.

I'm OK. I'll be OK. Thanks
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