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Originally Posted by Rmtt
So just logging in for the first time in a few days.
Had to rush my dad to the ER on Friday after work. I have been so busy that I hadn't been by to see him in about 7 days. He had been to the kidney doctor early this week, so I wanted to see what the results were. I'm so infuriated that he wasn't admitted then and there when he seen the Nephrologist.
He had put on almost 31 lbs of fluid, was broken out in a rash all over from his kidneys not working, and could hardly move. It was like I was carrying a dead weight to the car. He is swollen everywhere.
His blood work shows that he is in Stage 4 Kidney Disease. He is a diabetic, and although I have worked with him on diet for years...I can't be there every time he picks his food. Plus his generation doesn't know what reading the food labels mean. Last year I had him doing really good, but he fell off of the wagon.
First day they tried to catheter him twice and couldn't because of the edema and swelling. Then the Urologist tried about 4 hours later and couldn't. I could hear him moaning when they were in there and almost lost it.
Yesterday he had to get an Echo performed to make sure his heart was strong enough so that they could put him in surgery to try the catheter and a probe to look around as his bladder was at a critical point. Add a UTI on top of it, it was a bad situation. I left late last night when they brought him back as he was knocked out.
My brother works nights and I work days managing a plant. So he's with him this morning and then I will be with him in the afternoons.
He's only 67. My mom is disabled, so no help there. He has to do everything himself and let it get this bad because he is too proud to ask for help. I'm trying to be positive, but also trying to convey to him how serious this is.
The last couple of days have been really rough. I'm trying to keep a strong appearance up, but it's killing me inside. My daughter is a nurse in the Cardiac ICU, so she is helping keep me updated when I'm not there.
And I am at a point in my career where it is very demanding. So I feel like I am being hit from every angle.
This is the hardest thing I have faced since my son died.
I apologize if this brings up any bad memories for anyone on here. Hated to open the day on such a depressing note, but I had to vent somewhere for a few moments.
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Very sorry to hear that Rmtt - I think as sons we often don't consider that much could happen to our dad, we have always seen them as strong because that's generally who they were when we were growing up. And when something does happen, it really shakes you. I know it did me when I saw my dad in the hospital after he had a heart attack and was all hooked up to machines and wires. Thankfully, everything was ok after a few stents and that and he's still around, but at the same time, I now worry more about him, years after the fact.
As proud as your dad is, I really believe he is extremely grateful inside (whether he's expressed it or not) to have you and your brother around as support now because he knows he needs it. You don't have to keep a strong appearance, you just have to be there and be 100% in his corner and fight as his advocate to get the medical treatment he needs. But it is ok to show some emotion to your wife and daughter, frankly, they'd understand and probably love you even more for it. Strong appearance or not, just be there for your dad - that's the most important thing.
I know as a Christian, I'd be praying - if you believe in God, pray. Its a source of strength to me, that one can't understand if they don't believe there's a God who has created everything and is in control of everything, even if we don't get what we want, or what we think is just / right....there is a peace that I still feel in the midst of it. I've prayed for both you and your dad, though I do not know either of you, God does.