Quote:
Originally Posted by Kelse92
Curious, all other things equal (eg personality compatibility, chemistry, mutual attraction, etc), how much weight you guys put on things like age/financial status/career path when dating??
Currently in a situation where I've been on a few dates with a few different guys and all three are great and pretty much equal in all of the personal categories; but all very different in the "material" categories if you want to label it that. Not sure which road I want to go down if I want to pursue a relationship with any, each one has pros-cons. Without getting too much into specifics...
The oldest one is the most well off/stable career & 1yr divorced & college age children
Youngest one (closest to my age) most risky/unclear career path & no kids
Third one right in-between and has a 2yr old son & travels for work 70-80% of the time & half the weekends not traveling are spent with his son.
Obviously you guys can't make the decision for me but curious how you all weigh these things from your perspectives, all other things being equal.
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I've been off market so long, but what I remember is I looked for someone like you said, but where all our "core pillars" were aligned. Things like spiritual (I'm a Christian, she had to be as well - and a true Christian, not someone who just says they are), financial views, children, etc.
Pillars were anything that were critical in my life. Should only be a few of them. The rest...you can work out.
So to your question, I didn't put much weight on age (nice to have someone around same age though), but I did see career and financial as important. Not so much that she had to be well off, I just wanted someone who had focus, on anything really, just focus, so for me, I was looking for someone who had a plan and was enacting that plan. I felt the ability to focus and make a plan a reality would lend itself well to other areas of life.
For financial, it was more that we shared the same views on money. I'm more of a saver, but can spend on certain weaknesses I have, but primarily am a saver. So I wanted someone similar. I would be having ulcers early in life if I was married to someone who just threw money away.
Maybe that helps, maybe not. The youngest one...ehh, I'd be worried.