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Ahh, I'm sorry to hear this - I wish I read this before making some more poultry jokes.
I was in this situation a few months ago to a degree, though it was my grandfather and not my parents. It was really tough, he had stroked multiple times and was completely out of it. Didn't have any use of the left side of his body and didn't know who he or anyone else was. Still lasted 4 years.
And I always didn't like visiting him - it wasn't the papa I remember. And I knew he would hate being here in that condition if he knew it, just the type of person he was. So it was difficult visiting, but one thing I always remember is that he was always appreciative and didn't want you to go at the end...even if he didn't know who you were.
I think that we don't always appreciate what it must be like, living in a home / hospice / LTC 24/7 and not having the freedoms we used to. To have to rely on visitors rather than go visit. I think they really treasure visitors - it is a break from the monotony and I would encourage you to go. For her, not for you.
And I will say this - while you remember the last days, they will fade in comparison. What you will remember most is the good times, the earlier memories. Those won't be erased.
It's a tough time, and don't feel guilty for not liking to see your mom this way, nobody should like / want to see their parent like this. But visit anyways.
Hang in there!
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