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Wow that's pretty insane. I mean it has to be someone who knows your name, etc, to find you/her on facebook. Also someone douchy enough to show it to her.
That's a low blow whoever did it.
I think you are justified in how you felt. I haven't dated anyone with those issues but I had a friend like that. He is a great guy but smoking got in the way of life for him. He went from a great job/wife/daughter to now he works at Autozone, is divorced, and hangs out with some of the nastiest women I've ever seen who also smoke constantly.
She has young kids, and needs to get her life together, for both her sake and their sake. Nobody can fault you for feeling this way, even if she doesn't understand that right at this moment. Maybe this will be the wake up call she needs. If you care for her a lot, it might be worth saying that you want to be there for her but things can only continue if she gets her act together.
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"Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should."
-Dr. Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park
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