Quote:
Originally Posted by Not_Judy
We do use the L word. Honestly a little more than I would like to. In all honesty I do love her but there are different stages of love. I love her in the sense that I care about her and her well being. I do not love her in the sense that I want to spend every second of my day with her. I enjoy her company but I also enjoy my personal space just as much.
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Never_Enough
I'm assuming you haven't told her that & she thinks you love love her. If not, that's not cool, man. If you have, well you're both setting yourselves up for heartbreak when you do move.
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Not_Judy
Told her which? That I plan to move or that I love[i]love[i] her? I've discussed both with her in detail. She isn't happy about it but she also isn't going anywhere. The move will be difficult for both of us to a degree but my goal in life is to be more financially secure and to be happy. I've lived my entire life trying to make other people happy and now it's my turn. The proverbial breaking of the egg to make the omelet.
|
I'm not a shrink nor do I play one on TV but from my own personal experience and relating it to that of my other friends who are divorced, those partners who maintain a sense of self in the marriage have marriages that do better. I know that my personality became sublimated into the thing that our marriage became and consumed my sense of freedom, fun and ability to recognize that I was in a problematic situation.
The first 6 months to 12 months were like a period in a decompression chamber. It was amazing to get back to the things I enjoyed without the pressure and hassle of attempting to manage a terrible relationship.
I think it's perfectly normal and healthy to want to be alone at times. You damn well better like yourself and if not, you need some bro time or couch time. Take your pick.
Cheers-mk